A reworked synopsis for my Manuscript

 

My first attempt with a short synopsis left me feeling a flat after reading it and I reckon it is maybe a little too wordy? But I think the latest attempt is getting closer to the mark.

This is the newest version

BJ returns home to Queensland, disillusioned after serving in Afghanistan as an Australian soldier. Struggling with the life of a civilian, he heads westward to a new job. On the way, BJ encounters a dimensional rift in the guise of a storm.

Unable to escape, he is brutally transported from 2015 and stranded on an alternate, near future Earth. One which is vastly different from his own. He discovers a world recovering from an apocalyptic war against alien invaders.

Fighting for not just his life, BJ must manoeuvre his way through Nomadic tribes, treacherous Roman overlords and their corrupt militant police force to find his chance at personal redemption.

Below is the previous ho-hum version.

BJ is an ex-Australian soldier disillusioned by his time in Afghanistan and not fitting into a civilian life back home. On his way to a new job, he encounters a dimensional rift which takes him from 2015, trapping him in a near future world vastly different from his own, regardless of its similarities.

BJ’s new world is recovering from decades of devastation after being invaded by an alien race of modern Romans. Can BJ find his way through Nomadic tribes, scheming and treacherous Roman overlords, their local militant police force with its bullies and corruption?

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